i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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