just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
