I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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