WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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