She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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