Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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