Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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