Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
