Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
