Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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