I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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