he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
