ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize