Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
