Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
