now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
