I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
