no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
