this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
