...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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