I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize