my phone needs a breathalizer
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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