Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
