I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
