SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
