Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
