Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
