...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
