my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
