Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
