sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
