omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to have your abortion
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
