"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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