So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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