Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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