I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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