Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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