I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize