Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
