I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
