i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
