i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
