She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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