I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Only a mothe r could love this liver
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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