careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
