He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
try to milk me bitch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
