You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
