You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
