belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
