i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
