Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
