I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
