so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
