i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
